Pigs Escapin', Meat Smokin', Questionin' God

Hard rains and thunderstorms led to local power outages last Friday afternoon. Fortunately the generator kicked on out at the barn to keep all the freezers going. Not having power at our house wasn’t a big deal, but Amy was stressed about the renters in both cabins who had just checked in without power. No power also meant no juice on the electric fence for the pigs out in the woods. The power came back on late Friday night, but not before the pigs realized their opportunity to go exploring other parts of the farm. 

Saturday morning all four kids stayed with me for on-farm pick-up day, while Amy went to the Abingdon Farmers Market. On our way out to move chickens and handle chores, we noticed a bunch of pigs strolling down the road. Instead of starting our day off with chores, we chased pigs. After fixing the downed fence while the kids and pigs ran circles around each other, we finally got them all back in just minutes before folks started coming to the barn to pick up their monthly meat share. Chores had to wait. 

I wouldn’t say we’ve gotten settled into a good homeschool routine, but we’re trying. Trying and failing is what it feels like. On Tuesdays Amy takes the kids to a homeschool co-op group at our church. We put briskets and Boston Butts on the smoker the night before. Amy came home from co-op and went right to pulling pork and vacuum sealing it. We sell a lot of our pulled pork and smoked brisket, but we eat a lot of it ourselves. ORVF pulled pork has been our go-to lunch on chicken processing days. After the pork was pulled, it was to the field to catch chickens for the next day’s chicken killin’. With daylight fading faster, it was well after dark before getting to the house for showers and dinner. Hallie and Hasten got up early with me the next morning to fire up the scalder. We processing 176 chickens, cutting up over 100 of them for parts. Three less chicken shelters to move now with 14 occupied chicken shelters in the field. Still having fox trouble. 

Along with the chickens, the cows and pigs were kept moving to fresh pasture as well. I added hay down as new bedding for the pigs in the barn. Itchy job. 

Lots of freezer work this week. We don’t have enough bags back to fill October beef and pork shares, but we went ahead and sorted through the inventory to make sure we had enough of everything set aside to know how much extra to sell on the website and at the farmers market. 

As always, while farming I bounced back and forth between a few different audio books. Mostly John Stuart Mill’s “On Liberty” and Robert Greene’s “48 Laws of Power.” But nothing I listened to this week was as relevant or as impactful as what I heard in church Sunday morning. Making a day trip to spend some time with some friends in North Carolina, we got down there in time to go to church with them at Christ Community Church in Montreat. 

Andrew Brunson, a missionary who was arrested and spent two years locked up in Turkey, was the guest speaker. I actually went back and listened to his message again online this week. Brunson went into the mission field considering himself “a relatively tough missionary.” I would agree that taking the gospel overseas to Turkey is not really a job for the weak or weak of heart. He knew that following this calling could lead him into some hards times. Although he had a strong faith and a “bring it on” mentality, the isolation of imprisonment and the uncertainty of his release, quickly brought him to his breaking point. He openly told us how quickly he broke mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

“I said, ‘God, as long as I have your presence, I can do anything.’ … then that sense of presence completely lifted, and for the remainder of my time in prison, I had no awareness of his presence, no sense of his voice. Every way in which I had experienced his love in the past was cut off from me… I felt abandoned by Him. And alone… In my most difficult time, you’ve left me. How could you do this?… It deeply hurt me. He didn’t meet my expectations. I was disappointed in God. And this wounding of the heart led to my questioning his existence.”

“How could you, as my loving Father, do this to me? Why don’t you intervene?”

“I had all these questions for God, and I became aware he had questions for me. And I’m questioning his character and his love, and it was not his love and faithfulness that were being put to the test. I became aware it’s my love and my faithfulness that’s being tested. How will I respond?”

“He wanted me to learn to stand in the dark, to stand in the dark and to lean onto him, whatever my feelings and whatever my circumstances. What about you when you are in crisis?… We have different tests. We’re tested in different ways, but the area of the heart that is tested is actually the same… At some point, I think every believer goes into a crisis where we say, ‘Where are you God?’… At some crisis in your life, you will be in the dark. Most of you have been there already. You’ll probably be there again… You have to remain faithful. Your devotion to God is being tested, and you must hold on to Him. And God has the same questions for you that he had for me: Will you love me even when you don’t see my love? Will you be faithful when you don’t see my faithfulness? What you do in these points of crisis will define your relationship with God.”

Most of us won’t likely face the kind of persecution that Brunson endured, but he assures us that the faith of all believers will be tested. And he prophetically warns that he believes judgement and hard times are quickly approaching our country. 

“I believe our country is entering into a time of judgment. We as believers are not under judgement, but we are embedded in a nation that will be. And that means that we will suffer many of the things that they suffer as judgment. We will go through it with them. And Jesus warns about that… I’m talking about this because I think that we are going to go into difficult times… And we need to prepare our hearts so that we do not become offended, and so that our hearts do not grow cold.”

“Do not fear those who can cancel you in this life, rather fear Him who can cancel you in the next. So the question is: Are you going to be more afraid of the consequences of obeying God, which can be persecution? Or the consequences of not obeying God? So we need to have the right perspective. Although it may be costly to follow him, it is much more costly not to follow him.”

“Jesus, I believe that you are a good leader. I don’t know where you’re going to take me. I don’t know what hardships I’m going to have to go through. I don’t know. But I’m going to lean into your leadership and trust that you will take me through… He is committed to your heart. Lean into him, and he will hold your heart and take you through to his kingdom.”

Have a good week.

Will